Again and Again:I Love You
by PhoenixF-SD
Summary: Both Ha-Jin and Wang-So's reincarnation live out their lives in the modern era. They do not manage to meet, until the last possible moment. Wang-So wakes up in the Goryeo with memories of dozens lifetimes searching for Hae-Soo only to meet her when he can't be with her. Ha-Jin dies after a lifetime only to wake up in Goryeo earlier than before. They won't let this chance pass them.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I wish I did. _Oh, I wish I did._**

 **Author's Note: Thank you for the encouraging reviews.**

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Chapter 1

Choi In-Su was born the fourth of the eighteen children. His father Choi Tae-Joong was a self-made billionaire who had established his business empire alongside his firstborn son Chul-Moo from his first marriage. A respected businessman, he had however courted the scorn of his contemporaries through his six marriages and many more affairs resulting in nine legitimate heirs and nine bastards. In-Su was the second child of his father's second marriage with a wealthy heiress and businesswoman.

His life had been charmed for the most part, with only his relationship with his distant mother being the only dark cloud on what would otherwise have been a perfect childhood. In fact to the surprise of many In-Su, himself, had taken his mother's apparent rejection of him very well even as a child. His father, however, had been a doting parent to all his children, as long as they made sure to keep in mind that there was only one heir and any efforts to unseat the eldest child was dealt with harshly. This was something In-Su dealt with when his mother attempted to usurp Chul-Moo's position and install her eldest son Yon. This had seen her handed a divorce and her three children Yon, In-Su and their youngest brother Jun-U carted off to a boarding school in France.

This had been a bitter moment for In-Su, but by that time he was already in his late teens. It was the same for Yon, who had only had half a year of education left and left to return back to Korea, and their mother, as soon as he could under the guise of enlisting in the military. In-Su had spent the last two and a half years to complete his high school education and then elected to continue his university education in France so he could watch over his brother and not get dragged into the family contest, which was bitterly condemned by both his mother and elder brother.

He would only return after a further eight years at the prompting of his father, at which time Jung-U had already returned home three years before. His first act was to sign up for his military service much to his father's annoyance which would rise further when instead of simply servicing his conscripted term, he decided to pursue a career in the military, something his younger brother would go on to emulate.

However much he had been angry and hurt In-Su eventually reconciled with his father and oldest half-brother. The relationship had never gone back to what it was because In-Su was aware that he could be shut out at any moment through no actions of his own, and also, because he valued his younger brother Jun-U who had been more hurt by their exile than himself, more. His relationship with the rest of the family was lukewarm at best, friendly only because he had removed himself from the succession of the company, with Baek-Hyeon and Eun-Jae being the only ones of his half-siblings he built a closer relationship with.

In the military, he had gained a good reputation and risen through the ranks steadily. This was mostly due to his skill and dedication but also because of the great wealth, he came from. That road eventually led him back to the family business as many in the upper ranks sought the financial investment of his father's company into the military project. Naturally, his father would only engage in contracting with In-Su as an intermediary; it was family money after all. He eventually resigned from the military in order to be the Head of the company's branch that dealt with military technologies.

If asked he would never be able to quite explain how he eventually got into politics. Even when he had studied it in University it had only been due to a purely academic interest. However, at the age of forty-two, he was campaigning for a seat in the local council. What followed were three decades of a tumultuous career that lead him to the Blue House. He was not the most popular politician amongst his fellows, due to his pathological need to do the right thing and the retribution he tended to meet out to rivals when forced to compromise his principals. While he was popular at the beginning of his career, appealing to both the young and their elders, by the end of his Presidency he was largely a controversial figure.

His siblings had at one point dragged him into a corruption scandal that may very well have ended his career were it not for the brutal way he had dealt with them; providing evidence that saw two of his brothers, Yon and Won-Pil, and his sister, Yu-Hwa, in jail; and almost brought down his father's company. However the die had been cast, and people always viewed him with suspicion even as his reputation recovered. At least half the country would end up viewing his as something of a dictatorial leader due to his unwillingness to compromise and the large support he had from the military, while the other half would praise his for "getting thing done" and "skipping over playing the games of politicians and getting on with the job".

His work to improve worker conditions was greatly praised even though it wasn't as successful as he would have wanted. He had been the President of Korea rose further in its international position as one of the premier countries in technology and in terms of military might something that made him popular among many, though just as many feared he was attracting hostility neighbours wary of any military expansion. His work in improving conditions in the lower ranks of the military was greatly appreciated, although many people thought he hadn't pushed enough for fear of alienating the military elites. All in all when he retired he was too tired to tally up his successes and failures. He was just pleased to be well short of the Blue House.

Many historians would say that he lived a good life and In-Su would probably agree. Even with his family drama his had not suffered any more than other people did. In fact, due to his family he had been afforded the comforts and opportunities that many people around would never have their entire lives and he was grateful for that. However, he often found himself lonely. Oh, he had as many lovers a man of his stature could draw in as he wanted, but none of the women he had been with had ever made him stop and want to build a life with her. So he contented himself with the great friends he had made through his life and the brothers he managed to hold on to and spoiled his nieces and nephews they provided for him.

It was enough, until one day he met a woman who managed to shake him to his very core. He had escaped his guards who still followed him despite the fact he was now a private citizen, he thought mulishly. As he wandered through a shopping mall he was drawn to a section holding an exhibition of Goryeo and its ancient culture. In the late evening it was all but abandoned, so he was free to wonder gazing at the displays from the ancient origins of Korea as a country and feeling a sense of nostalgia that he couldn't explain.

Then he heard the sound of someone crying. At first, he just wanted to walk away, but them he thought, he was an old man free to stick his nose in things that were none of his business. So he walked into the final exhibit and saw a young woman there, crying as though her whole world had come to an end. When he approached her the young woman abandoned all sense of propriety and threw herself into his arm, shaking both their bodies with the force of her sobs and soaking his jacket with her tears.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry," she kept sobbing into his chest. "I never should have left you…" For some reason those heartfelt words caused his chest to tighten and ache and In-Su found himself on the verge of tears as well. He might have kept holding on to the girl forever had it not been for the loud arrival of his security. Instead, he reluctantly let her go and gently presented her a handkerchief.

When she finally looked up at him In-Su felt his breath freeze in his chest. Before him was the most stunning woman he had ever met. Bright brown eyes shining with unshed tears captured him until he felt he could drown in them, her face was pink from exertion but round and pretty and her frame was small and feminine... He had just held her. Somehow he knew in that moment that this was the woman meant for him. The realisation staggered him.

"Abeoji," she cried out catching his elbows and steadying him before he could fall.

Before he could do anything else they were being surrounded by his guards and he was being removed from her grasp.

"Wait," he managed to say before he could be ushered away from her. The guards stopped and allowed him to approach her again at his order. "What is your name child?"

"Go Ha-Jin, sir," she answered softly, her griefs momentarily forgotten in light of her concern for his well-being.

"Go Ha-Jin," he repeated relishing her name. "Take care of yourself, Go Ha-Jin. Don't hold on too much to the pain you are feeling right now. Sometimes it is better to let go."

With that piece of advice the allowed himself to be escorted away. Every step he took away from her was agonising. He wanted nothing more than to return to her but he forced himself to keep walking until they reached the car and then collapsed into the back seat.

A week later as he lay on his porch the moon rose into the sky and swallowed the sun. Not a moment had passed without him think of her. Go Ha-Jin… He cursed his luck and wondered at his fate that he should meet the woman meant for him at the end of his life. He closed his eyes and recalled every detail he could of her. Her face, her long brown hair, the scent of her perfume and her name…

Hae-Soo...

It was so unfair. He had just finally found her…


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I wish I did. _Oh, I wish I did._**

 **Author's Note: Thank you for the encouraging reviews.**

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Chapter 2

" _Don't hold on too much to the pain you are feeling right now."_ Those words gave her the strength to move. _"Sometimes it is better to let go."_ The carried her out of that gallery. The momentary distraction caused by the elderly man slowly vanished leaving sobbing on the bus half way to her apartment. Yet, still his words held her together, so she did not completely fall apart in her grief and regret. Ha-Jin would only leave her bedroom two days later at the frantic knocks of her mother on the door. It was the thought of causing yet another mother to worry that pushed her as she staggered toward her mother's cries.

The following months were a roller-coaster of emotions for Ha-Jin. She would fight every single moment to not drown in her sorrow the something as simple as the sight of a mother walking with her child would send her spiralling down into hysteria. Sometimes she would find herself searching frantically for the curator of the exhibition that had mysteriously vanished. If she found him she thought she would be driven to tear him apart with her own bare hands. Why had Ji-Mong done that to her? Was he punishing her? Why would he make her remember the world she could not return to, a lover she could never hold on to and a child she never got to be the mother to?

The life she led after that day in the exhibit would always be overshadowed by her memories of the past. She began to study the history of Goryeo, obsessively searching for the minuscule details of her daughter and following every detail of Gwangjong reign and his life after her. Her heart was eased when she found a small passage on Wang-Jung's daughter who had married a merchant and lived her life outside of palace politics. Her Wang-So had still acquired a bloodthirsty reputation.

But slowly she was able to live with her loss. Ha-Jin returned to her work. She plastered the plastic smile of Hae-Soo on her lips and endured. When her heart felt like it would twist and shrivel in her chest she swallowed her screams and pushed herself forward; making herself numb to the world as she had during the years after Lady Oh's death. She made sure to smile for her mother and went out with her friends. And if they sometimes looked at Ha-Jin like there was a stranger in her skin, she laughed and smile until they could all almost pretend the drowning and coma had changed nothing.

Ha-Jin slowly returned to making her traditional makeups and herbal cosmetics which she slowly grew into a small business through years of work. Eventually, she was able to smile openly, she could look at a child without grieving for her lost one and she could think of her fourth prince without breaking. Yet, the memory of the always remained present in her mind.

She visited museums, abandoned palaces, and studied the art, poetry, music and dances that she had neglected when she had woken up in that distant era. She would grow older into an eccentric lady, somewhat obsessed with the bygone history, pottering around her little tourist attraction bath houses, with her tradition organic soaps and makeups and stone towers.

People would wonder at the pretty woman who had rebuffed any attempts at romance directed at her. It was a broken heart, people would say, especially those who lived close enough to her to hear her weeping in the middle of the night during certain times. However, she was full of love, enough to adopt five children whom she raised well.

Her children were the greatest joy Ha-Jin had. Her first genuine smile in ages had come the time she had met the boy who would be her first adopted child. It happened at an open event she had hosted for charity. Kim Woo-Sung had been trying to disappear into a small corner when she spotted him. She felt an instant kinship with the boy struggling to deal with the loss of his own. It had taken her a two-year struggle before she could call him her own person. In the years slowly he would her to call him her son. Woo-Sung would then introduce her to her second child six years later. Im Chae-Yeon was a bright hopeful girl who lit up their somewhat solemn family with her bubbly personality. Gil A-Yeon and A-Joo, fraternal twins who were fiercely protective of each other, followed soon after. Lee Yoo-Jin was adopted when she was just a baby; she had kept Ha-Jin up at night as a child and even later still as a teen.

It had not been easy. At time Ha-Jin feared that she was using the children as a replacement for the family she had lost. But as her children carved out their own niches in her hollowed heart and borrowed in, she spent less time mourning for what she had lost and embraced the family in front of her. Her sons she raised to be strong and dependable men who could become pillars in their family but to also be open and willing to share their burdens. They knew being vulnerable and emotional was not a weakness. Her daughters were gentle, loving and sweet. Ha-Jin made sure to implant in them a core of steel that could not be shaken by the people or the world. And there was nothing in the world that had made her prouder when she was old and grey and allowed to play hard of hearing than when her children brought to her their own children; both born to them and adopted.

 _"Sometimes it is better to let go."_

Ha-Jin would pass away under a blood-red eclipse with a smile on her wrinkled face, tears in her eyes and a name on her lips. Wang-So…


End file.
